


Unremembered Memories

by HandwithQuill



Category: A-Team (2010)
Genre: Angst, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-11-28
Updated: 2012-11-28
Packaged: 2017-11-19 19:02:41
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 5,013
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/576604
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HandwithQuill/pseuds/HandwithQuill
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Another from the A-Team Prompts. How did Hannibal know Murdock was worth pulling out of the Hospital in Mexico?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

Hannibal leaned back against the passenger seat of the van. Face was sulking in the back, bits of Spanish drifting up front from his conversation with Tuco’s wife. The Colonel closed his eyes as he reviewed the rest of his plan, but memories kept flashing through his mind.

_His reflection in the window of Russ’ office, hand raised to knock, other hand full of personnel files. Files for the people to make up Major Hannibal Smith’s first team._

_He entered when the gruff voice of his mentor bid him to do so. Handing the files over, he sat in the chair in front of the desk as the General went over them._

_“All good choices, have you narrowed them down?”_

_“Davidson, Holmes, and Wolfe.” He replied, taking out those files._

_“You’ll need at least one more. They want you to have a five man team.” They both looked at the pile of remaining files. Hannibal sighed, it had taken him long enough to narrow it down to those three. Russ laughed at his expression._

_“I might be able to help you.” He said, reaching into his desk, he pulled out a file. Hannibal took it. Eyes widening as he read. The scores were excellent, but all were followed by comments from the instructors. He looked up._

_“He’s a good kid, but unorthodox. Like you. I think he’ll be a good fit. That should be him now.” Russ said, nodding to the door as someone one knocked on it._

_Another barked ‘Come in’ had the door opening. The young man stood there, Lieutenant bars on the shoulders on his uniform, hair buzzed down to regulation. But it was gleam in the changeable eyes and the lopsided smirk on the lips that had Hannibal swallowing hard and wanting this man in his unit. An elegant hand was raised in salute._

_“Lieutenant H.M. Murdock reporting, SIR!” was somehow snapped out in a honey slowly Texas drawl._

_Eighteen months later, he was strapped to the seat as the small cargo plan shook violently. An RPG exploded on the left._

_“Shit! This is not good!” the pilot said._

_“Can you get us out of it?” He asked. Murdock looked at him, gleam in his eyes, lopsided smirk on his lips. Hannibal’s heart started pounding in a way that had nothing to do with the missiles heading their way._

_“Of course, sir. But it will get ugly, I’m gonna need to do some pretty drastic maneuvers. HOLD ON, BACK THERE!” he yelled, before pushing the yoke forward and twisting it to the right. Down the plan went, into the canopy of the jungle. Yells erupted from the back. More twists and sharp turns that the aircraft following them couldn’t duplicate. Murdock pulled up, bringing the plan out of range of the debris, all the way out of the jungle. Adrenalin pumping through his veins, a howl escaping his lungs. He looked at Hannibal again and they both tilted their heads back and howled._

_Six months after that, Hannibal was promoted to Lt. Colonel. The party was ending, Davidson had long since passed out on his couch. Wolfe and Holmes were not far behind, laughing at the blank TV screen after the plug was pulled on the playstation. Bits of Dress Uniform littered his living room. A mismatched pair of shoes was under the coffee table. Coats had been thrown off early, Davidson’s tie was rolled up on the side table, having taking it off the man after he passed out. He knew there was going to be a scavenger hunt tomorrow to find the other two._

_“Lt. Colonel Smith!” he took the glass of water being handed to him. Raising it to his lip for a sip to hide what the gleam in those eyes did to him._

_“Captain Murdock.” He said, eying the double captain bars and the not too distant memory of that promotion party. They were then only ones still in uniform, coats unbuttoned for comfort. It wasn’t too long before they were the only ones awake. Murdock shrugged out of his coat on the way to the linen closet, covering Wolfe and Holmes where they lay, before joining Hannibal on the back patio, the glowing tip of the boss’ cigar the only light._

_Neither man said anything, leaning on the railing, shifting feet slowly bringing them closer to each other, until their shoulders brushed._

_“Are those the ones that the General gave you?” HM asked, breathing deeply. Hannibal hummed an affirmative. “They smell nice. Bet they taste nice too.” Hannibal flicked his head around at the catch in Murdock’s voice. His eyes had adjusted to the wan starlight and he saw the shocked look on the pilot’s face. “I think I may be a little drunk.” Murdock took a step away, but Hannibal’s hand stopped him._

_“They do taste nice, would you like to see?” he asked carefully, hand motioning with the cigar in case he was imagining things._

_“Yes,” HM said, eyes staring at his mouth. “I’ve wanted to know for awhile now.”_

_The cigar fell to the cement patio, forgotten, as the hand that had stopped him, pulled the Captain to the Lt. Colonel. Their lips met chastely at first, before opening and trying to devour each other. Hannibal didn’t know and didn’t care how they managed to get down the hall to his bedroom, the only thing he cared about was pressing HM against the closed door._

_His coat was pushed off and fell to the floor as he pulled one of Murdock’s legs up, grinding their hips together. Hands scrambled at the buttons of his shirt. “Ummm, Boss, please!”_

_“No.” Hannibal pulled back. Murdock tensed under him, tried to lower his leg, but Hannibal tightened his grip. He raised one finger to Murdock’s lips. “Not boss or sir. Not here, not like this. John, my name is John.”_

_“James.” The pilot said. “In a round about way HM stands for James.” Hannibal nodded and kissed James, hands working the buttons of his shirt. Discarding it, he ran his hands down the furred chest, letting the thumb of one circle around a nipple, the other snaked between them and cupped the hardening length, before unbuttoning the pants and reaching inside to grasps the flesh._

_James’ head thunked back against the door. He toed off his shoes as the pants pooled at his feet. Hannibal removed his hand briefly to shake off his shirt. Hands unbuckled his pants and shoved them off. He grasped James’ other leg and lifted him, laying him on the bed. They kissed for awhile, calming down, not wanting the alcohol to end what they wanted for years too soon._

_Hannibal’s hand reached into the bedside table, pulling out a tube. “Have you done this before?”_

_“Are you asking me if I know about the birds and the bees, Colonel?” James’ smirked at him. Hannibal rolled them on the their sides, making their erections rub against each other as his hand trailed down James’ back, cupped his ass, before sliding a finger in between the cheeks._

_“Have you ever been with a man, Captain?” the finger circled the tight ring of muscle._

_“A little drunken fumbling. Know what to do, but never, oh, do that again! Never got even this far.” Hannibal moved his finger again, loving the way James whimpered against him._

_“So no one’s ever touched you like this?” he asked, reaching for the lube, rolling James onto his back, and spreading his legs, reaching between, this time slicked up, finger tip slowly circling in up to the first knuckle._

_“No. Never wanted them to, only you John. Only ever wanted you this way. OH!” Hannibal pushed his finger all the way in as he leaned forward and kissed James. He pulled back when they were both breathless, hand still moving, working James open for him. His forehead rested on James’, whispering encouragement to him as he moved to two then three fingers. He slicked himself up and changed their position slightly. Capturing James’ eyes, he slid all the way in, pulled out slowly and slid back in. Again and again, getting a little faster each time._

_James’ hands reached for him and he leaned forward, “John” whispered against his lips, before they started moving together. He could feel it overtaking him, so he reached for James’ erection, pulling him over as they shuttered through their combined orgasm. He pressed his lips to neck under him. “I love you, James.”_

_Hannibal opened his eyes, staring straight ahead. Not seeing the Mexican desert. Those memories were painful enough, but they were all before..._

_Before waking up at four hundred hours a year and a half later as James slipped out of bed. He watched James get dressed, a bad feeling in the pit of his stomach. Reaching out a hand to caress his back as James sat down to put his boots on._

_Before James turned and said: “Don’t worry, John. It’s just a pick up. Go back to sleep, I’ll have breakfast done before you wake up again.” and leaned down and kissed him._

_Before pacing his office, James having missed the return time by half an hour. Two hours. Five hours. Twelve hours before the team was allowed to go find him._

_Before they saw the trail the plane cut into the forest as it went down. Landing, counting the bodies strewn about as they approached the plane. All but two accounted for as they opened the cockpit. His 2iC rushing forward, declaring the co-pilot dead. Hands holding him back as Mike’s hand went from under the co-pilot’s head to the pilot’s._

_“He’s alive!” breath rushing out of him._

_“Quick get him out of the harness.”_

_“Careful, there’s blood on his face, where’s it coming from?”_

_“Shrapnel pierced his helmet!” The medic arrived from the chopper. Strapped him to a backboard, wouldn’t, couldn’t take the helmet off until they got back to base._

_Before the neurosurgeon tried to repair the damage the shrapnel did. Not giving any answers as to what he’d be like when, if, (when, damn it!) he’ll awaken._

_Week one, “Please, James, wake up.”_

_Week two, “Please, love, come back.”_

_Week three, “I love you James Murdock, wake up for me.”_

_Week four, week five, week six, week seven._

_Week eight his eyes opened. But he wasn’t there._

_'Response to stimuli, but not interacting with the outside world, the doctors said. Being transferred to the Psych ward in the VA.'_

_Hannibal had fought it. Fought it for six months, until there was a mission he wasn’t allowed to refuse. When he came back, James was gone. No one knew where they took him; his file was gone from personnel. Not even Russ could find out for him._

_As each of his boys left to run their own team, he didn’t replace them. Mike was the last to leave, coming down here to Mexico three years ago. He was on his own until he saw Face languishing in requisition six months ago. Something about the Kid caught him, couldn’t let him waste way there. Russ was happy, urged him to start a new team. He refused, until Mike called him a month ago._

_“Hey, Boss, listen, I found out something down here I think you might be interested in. I’m sending you a file._

It arrived the next day. Curious he opened it, gasping as he saw the face looking up at him. The lopsided smirk was still there, as was the gleam in his eyes. But there was something else there as well. Something not quite his James, something manic. He glanced at the doctors’ comments. Paranoid delusion and intermittent memory loss, it said. Self-identification with fictional characters, and personication of inanimate objects, it said. But it also said funtional. He marched to Russ’ office.

_“I want him.” He nearly slamed the file on to Russ’ desk. The General pick it up. Eyes glancing at Hannibal at the picture. Sighing, he put it down._

_“Hannibal, this isn’t a good idea!” The General said. “For no other reason then how thick his medical file is, you don’t know how he’s going to react. He’s a liability!”_

_“No, he’s not! Even with his medical history, he’s still the best pilot. His previous record speaks for itself._

_“About that previous record...” Russ’ voice softened._

_“That has nothing to do with this. He’s the best, Russ. That’s all.” Eyes held for a long time. “Russ, please, he deserves to be doing what we trained him for.”_

_“Okay, I’ll assign him to you temporarily-Temporarily! I want him to go though Psych as soon as you get him back here. Depending on what they say, I’ll let you keep him.”_

Russ gave them the mission to take down Tuco the next week. It seemed destioned when reteaving James fit into the mission. The jerking of the van stopping pulled him to the present.


	2. Chapter 2

Hannibal leaned forward slightly, turned his head minutely and looked out the corner of his eyes, passed Face, and Bosco. Even as just a CO, he wouldn’t have been able to not react at the tremor in Murdock’s voice as he declared that he refused to be tried separately.

They were told to sit down as the judges conferred. He tried to force his mind to focus on a plan to protect his boys from the verdict he knew was coming, but it only want to replay memories of the last eight years.

_The van jerked to a stop in the hospital parking lot. Getting out, Hannibal saw Mike exiting his car at the same time._

_“Mike!”_

_“Bossman, how the hell are you.”_

_“Still chewing the same dirt?”_

_“I am, unfortunately.” They clasped hands. “And out here in lovely Mexico.”_

_“Good. What have you got for me?”_

_“I got a fast bird doing pizza runs. The call sign is ‘Hatchet’. And that is whatever you want it to be.”_

_“Hatchet. Okay.”_

_“This is yours.” He handed over the slim clinder. Paused a second. “He’s inside. I’m not sure what you want out of this, Boss? He doesn’t remember.”_

_“You’ve talked to him?”_

_“Yeah, he knows that he’s a Captain, but he doesn’t remember anything after graduating from Ranger School.”_

_“He doesn’t deserve to be here, Mike.”_

_“I know. I just don’t want to see you heartbroken again.”_

_“Thank you, but I’m going in with my eyes wide open. I owe you one.”_

_“Let’s not wait till Bragg again, huh?”_

_“Three years,” he clapped him on the shoulder and entered the hospital. “Find a treatment room, Corporal. I’m going to find our pilot.”_

_He couldn’t help the grin on his face. James was close, somewhere in this building. He found the doctor that was needed to sign off on the paper work. He didn’t really listen as the Doctor said the same thing that was in the file. He gave a chuckle at the mention of the ambulance and defibrillator._

_“My kind of guy.” It was the kind of thing that James would think of, and apperently it was the kind of thing that Captain Murdock would do. Exiting the office, he heard Face yelling, saw B.A.’s with his arm outstreched, and a mop of brown hair over his shoulder._

_“I see everyone’s met Mr. Murdock.” More yelling from Face, but he tuned him out, looking at the man standing next to him. Hooded blue-green eyes stared at him. James’ intellengce shining out of them as well as the playful twinkle he fell in love with. But there was something else in the gleam, something manic. There was, also, no recognition. He forced the smile to stay on his face._

_“I hear you’re a hell of a chopper pilot, Son?” Son. Diliberately said. Son. Young man. Newest member of his team. Under his command. No more volition on that regulation._

_“That’s good enougth for me.” he said. Both to respond to Jam-Murdock’s insistance of being a Ranger, but also to his own thoughts._

_The chopper flight home. James’ skills and abilities preformed with a wild recklessness. Twists, turns, falls, the warning only he knew was a warning of outrageous flying._

_Landing, getting back to base, reinstating Bosco. Convincing Murdock that he wasn’t going anywhere even if he went to the doctors. Settling into the house. Running drills, becoming a team._

_Days, weeks, months, 2 and a half years later, coming down stairs. Seeing the Captain and Lieutenant asleep on the couch. Murdock curled into Face’s side. A flare in his chest that he immediately squashed. They had gone out drinking the night before, Face was too much of a ladies man, and Murdock, like James, was a snuggler._

_Murdock started going out after that night. Her name was Kelly Stevens and she was a veterinarian. She was kind, giving, open, quite, a little reserved and perfect for the Captain._

_The night of their one year anniversary, Hannibal was sitting on the front porch, smoking. It was late, almost the next day when Murdock strolled up the sidewalk._

_“Evening, Boss!”_

_“Captain. Good night?”_

_“Yeah.” Said softly, lovingly, as the pilot perched himself on the railing. Two rounds of calming tobacco through his lungs before Murdock spoke again._

_“Boss? How come you never date? I mean, I know it’s none of my business, but the one time you came with us to the bar, you were gettin’ more looks than Faceman! I don’t think you’d have a problem if you just wanted casual. And if you don’t want casual, well, most women would fall over themselves to get a real gentleman like you. I know we’ve never talked about it, but I feel like you’d really take care of your partner.” His voice was still soft, eyes unfocused as they traced the porch rafters. “You’d always listen, treat them right, and make them a priority when you could. Is that it?” he asked, “You don’t think anyone will understand the Army?”_

_“No, it’s not the Army.” Hannibal sighed. James was so close tonight. He looked into the earnest eyes of his pilot and extinguished the cigar in the ever-present ashtray. “I’m just old fashioned, Murdock. I’ve known since I was a teenager that I would fall in love only once. That when I met that person, everybody else on the planet would pale in comparison. I...lost...that person six years ago.” He stood, squeezing Murdock’s shoulder at the sympathetic look on his face. “Good night, Captain.”_

_That night his empty arms ached wrapped around his pillows._

_22 weeks later, as he trudged home after a day full of boring meetings he passed Kelly on the sidewalk. Her eyes were shiny and red. He could just see Jam-Murdock sitting on the porch swing, head down._

_“Col. Smith.”_

_“Miss Stevens.”_

_“I know it probably wasn’t the right thing to do, but I didn’t know what else TO do. Please, take care of him the way he needs you to, and...the way you need to.” She walked off, he watched her, confused. She couldn’t mean... He shook his head and walked over to sit with Murdock._

_“She gone?” the pilot asked._

_“Yeah.” HM sighed, sitting up._

_“She said...she said a bunch of things, but you know what the saddest, most horrible thing about it was, sir? As she was talking, our eyes met and we could see the same thoughts going through each other’s mind. That we loved each other, but we weren’t surprised and that neither of us was destroyed by it. And that hurt, Boss, because she deserved for me to be destroyed. She deserved for the ending of a relationship with her to tear apart her boyfriend. Even at the end, I wasn’t good enough for her, Boss._

_Hannibal sighed and gently reached out and squeezed the back of Murdock’s neck. “I liked Kelly.” He said, and he did. If he had to watch James with someone else, Kelly was the type of person he would have chosen. “But don’t you think the reverse is true as well?” he met sad inquisitive eyes. “Don’t you think that she should be torn apart inside at losing you. That if someone was fortunate enough for you to love them and they lost YOU, that they wouldn’t be able to draw their next breathe because of the pain inside. That the idea of going on would be unbearable. That’s what YOU deserve, HM.”_

_He didn’t realize that he had been using his grip on Murdock’s neck to pull him closer, or that the pilot was going willingly. He only realized that suddenly James’ lips were in kissing distance._

_“Boss, do you still love the person you lost?” He shot up off the swing, leaned against the railing, hands clenched and arms wrapped around his chest. It was Murdock, not James, who blinked, fell back against the swing as his hands and feet shot out to steady it. They stared at each other is silence for a few moments before Hannibal cleared his throat and walked inside the house._

Hannibal’s eyes snapped open as the door to the Judges chamber opened and the structured military court descended into yelling.


	3. Chapter 3

Hannibal finished drying his hands, tossed the paper towel into the trash. He unlocked the door to the small, one stall bathroom and let Face take his turn. It hadn’t been to long since they had escaped from the prison van, but Hannibal thought that it would be okay to stop in a small out of the way diner. One where the worker had been there for hours and there was no TV's showing the morning news and what had happened at the dock.

He slid into the booth next to Bosco. Murdock had his elbows on the table, head in hands. Face had been working on getting him some painkillers, and Hannibal assumed he was successful by the open packet next to the glass of water. The colonel grasped his own glass to keep his hand to himself. The last six months was testing his resolve.

 

_Leaving the courtroom, they were taken to the same holding room they were in earlier and told to take off their dress uniforms. A pile of clothes was waiting for them. With a resigned sigh, Bosco and Face reached for the orange jumpsuits. Passing one to Hannibal, they all stared at the remaining clothes. Pajama pants, scrub top and a pair of slippers._

_“No!” Murdock said, backing away, “I’m not going back to Mexico, I’ll go to prison with you guys.” He sank down onto the little bench. Face slid in next to him, rubbing his back._

_“It’ll be okay, HM. You’ll have a little more freedom then we will.” He looked up helplessly as BA stepped up to Murdock’s other side. He squeezed the pilot’s shoulder. Hannibal dropped to his knees and collected Murdock’s hands in his._

_“You’re not going to Mexico! I’ll make sure of that. People still own me favors and I’ll use every damn one of them to make sure that you go somewhere decent. I’m not losing you.” Not again, “And Face is right. Our letters and phone calls will be monitored. Yours, less so. Jame-HM, look at me.” He lifted Murdock’s head. Their eyes met, ideas passing between them. “Understand?”_

_“Yes, sir!” a relived smile on his face as he changed into the hospital wear. Hannibal stood, glanced at the other two._

_“I meant that for you as well, I’ll make sure you go somewhere decent.”_

_“Naw, man, don’t worry about us. We can take care of ourselves. Crazy, though, get him somewhere good!” Face nodded in agreement. The door opened and they were escorted out to separate transports._

_Six months later, Hannibal pulled the morgue attendant's coat over his shoulders, slipping out the door. Once he was passed the guards, his first thought was to get to James, but knew that he would need help getting him out. He also knew that Face had managed to get himself into a less secure facility. So even thought Bosco was closer in California, he drove to Florida._

_Springing Face, getting Bosco, traveling to Germany, getting the movie, the glasses, it all took an extra week. An extra week that James was not with him._

_It wasn’t until they got to the abandoned boathouse that he had a moment to breath. Face and Bosco got to work on the computer and printer set up he needed for the next part of the plan. He took Murdock back to a smaller room and presented him with a box._

_“Here you go, Captain.”_

_“A getting out present!”_

_“I thought these might be a little more comfortable.” Opening the box, Murdock pulled out a pair of red converse, kaki pants, two shirts, a baseball cap and last, a brown leather jacket. All items of clothing that Hannibal had taken out of his privet storage locker before leaving the States._

_“Oh, thanks, Colonel! I’ve always wanted one of these!” Murdock put the jacket down and stripped off his t-shirt. Hannibal’s eyes traveled across that perfect chest before lifting to the rafters and staying there._

_“I think...I think I’ve had one of these before?” Murdock said, voice distant. Hannibal glanced down to find his pilot looking in a broken mirror in the back of the room. His hand was trailing down one arm of the worn, supple leather. Murdock turned, looked at Hannibal, who could see the thoughts traveling across Murdock’s eyes. “Maybe in another life, because I coulda sworn that you...” he shook his head, “I need to get off of the crap the gave me. It’s making me hallucinate.”_

_“Did they treat you right? I tried to find you the best place. I will admit that I couldn’t tell if some of your letters were in code or if you were writing nonsense just in case they were read.”_

_“It was alright, Colonel. It was better then some places I was in. I never understood why the moved me around so much. If the nonsense letters were from when I first got there, they tried to put me on something stronger. I fought it. They said that it was either that or ECT, I took the ECT. I think it shocked them, but I knew that ECT doesn’t affect me. Did give me strange dreams, though, distorted images and sounds, like I was watching a movie underwater. I kept hearing this gravely voice call me Lieutenant.” He shrugged, “I’m going to go annoy Bosco” he bounced out of the room, leaving Hannibal with a cigar halfway to his mouth and a pounding heart._

The waitress set their order down just as Face slid back into the booth. Murdock had only moved enough for the plate to be set down, but still had his hands clamped to the sides of his head. He let out a slight whine, eyes squeezed tight.

“They not working?” Face asked, had coming out to rub his back. “I can get more, if you want?”

“No, it’s receding, I think it wanted to give one last piercing pound to remind me it was here, before it went away.” He tried to smile reassuringly at the guilt-ridden look that Face wore. He picked up a fry and bit it. The other returned to their meal, discussing what to do now. They were halfway through the meal when Hannibal noticed that Murdock was staring out the window while absentmindedly toying with his fries.

“Are you sure you’re okay, Captain?”

“I’m sorry.” He sighed, not looking away from the window.

“No! I’m sorry!” Face said. “It was my plan, I put you in danger. I should have thought of something else, I’ll go-“ Murdock held a hand up, cutting Face off. He turned, faced forward, eyes still closed.

“I’m sorry.” He said again, finally looking up and meeting Hannibal’s eyes. “I’m so sorry, John. The last eight years must have been hell for you.” His eyes were clear, the manic glint gone, causing Hannibal to.

“James?” he asked, shakily.

“Yeah,” the pilot said with a derisive laugh. “I feel like such a fucking cartoon!” he leaned back in the booth. “One bonk on the head, there they go. Another one and they come rushing, painfully, back. I really am sorry, I can image the agony you must have been in. Thought, why didn’t you try anything in the mean time? I know I wasn’t right in the head, but...”

“You’ve never been right in the head, Crazy. And do the two of you want to clue us in to what’s going on?” Bosco shared a confused look with Face.

“It wouldn’t have been right. I could never tell how much I was remembering you and how much was affection for him.” James nodded his understanding. In the silence that settled on the table the waitress came over and left the check. Hannibal picked it up, the other three stood outside as Hannibal paid. As he joined them outside, he saw that James was studying him.

“I know it’s been along time, John, if things are different for you now, I’ll understand.”

“It’s not. I’ve told you, once I fall in love, I stay there.” He grasped the back of the pilot’s neck, pulled his James, his Murdock, to him and claimed his lips in a kiss. A kiss full of eight years of yeaning, of standing next to this man and not being able to touch. A kiss full of eleven years of desperation, of wanting his lover back.

Pulling back, gasping air, he leaned his forehead on James’. Eyes shining as he placed a quick, chaste kiss on James’ lips. This one full of promises. Promises for that night as hands found new old scars, found old new spots, as they made love for the first time again.

With a smile and a bounce in his step, he took James’ hand and walked out of the parking lot, ignoring the shocked looks Bosco and Face’s were wearing.


End file.
